Conspiracy Theorist Christmas Gift Guide

Got someone on your list who has a whiteboard full of red string? Same. This is the TopLobsta conspiracy theorist gift guide: funny conspiracy shirts, hats and bundles for the person who has already told you about MK Ultra at Thanksgiving dinner. Here's how to shop it this Christmas.

Under $40: stocking stuffers for the truth seeker

Every graphic tee here is $35. Grab the Worldwide MK Ultra Free-Range Chickens T-Shirt, the NDS MK Ultra Dolphins T-Shirt, Obey Submit Comply, Florida Illuminati or the Andrija Puharich Public Enemy tee. The MK Ultra Chickens trucker hat and pom-pom beanie are $35 too, and they're perfect for a cold-weather stakeout.

$60 to $110: the big gift

The Free-Range Chickens hoodie is $60 and warm enough for long nights watching the sky. Want the full look? The MK Ultra Chickens Pack (tee + trucker hat) is $60, and the Winter Pack (hoodie + beanie + trucker hat) is $110. Team Florida Illuminati? The Florida Illuminati Bundle (tee + hat) is $63.

Last-minute? Send a gift card

Shipping deadlines are real, even if the moon landing isn't (kidding... mostly). A $25 TopLobsta gift card lands in their inbox instantly and lets them pick their own funny conspiracy theory gift.

All of these designs come from the rabbit holes on Nephilim Death Squad.